Learning to trust other people is not an easy task. It is pretty damn scary especially if you have had some pretty bad experiences in the past that have put a burden on your life. It can be tough to remove the past from our hearts. They tend to carry a great weight and hold us down and back from trusting people that we should trust.
It can be a constant battle to learn to trust others again or maybe to start to trust others if we never have. There are a few things that we need to keep in mind when we want to put certain parts of our life in someone else’s hands. Whether it’s personal facts or deeds to be done, it’s a risk we take when we give trust to others.
Trust isn’t just about having faith in anyone and being willing to take the risk, it’s about “learning who to trust.”
The idea that “we need to learn to trust” isn’t the issue we should focus on. It’s “selecting who to trust” that is more important, if not the most important part. We can waste a ton of time and more importantly emotional energy on trying to trust others that just fail us over and over. You can only take so much failure from others. You need some stability for your own sanity.
Another tough subject to think about is do others trust you? Are you given responsibilities that most people are not trusted with? Whether it’s information or a task, you need to realize that you should not take it lightly. Whether it is a test from them or not, you should treat trust that you are given with great respect. Trust is a two way street. If others don’t trust you, it can be near impossible to trust others.
It takes a lot of courage to trust someone. When I work on projects and create new friendships, trust is something that can make or break the success of them. It can be really tough to figure out who we should be trusting in our life, but here are a few things I like to keep in mind.
Are they an honest person?
Honesty is a pretty big deal. When someone is willing to admit they don’t know everything or they tell you that they are concerned with you in a comforting way, that is huge. Open hearts and minds can truly break down barriers and build up great trust. When they tell you their fears and let you know when you have faults, that is a step in the right direction.
Are they someone you respect?
Have they done things in their life that you find admirable and bold? Sometimes when looking for people to trust, we need people that we look up to for inspiration, advice or any type of help in our life. If they can help build you up as a person, usually they have good intentions and their best interests for you.
Do they care about you?
These are the people that don’t typically just say, “hey what’s up?” They usually ask, “how was your day?” or “how is that thing going?” They are the people that want to spend time with you on the phone or in their free time. They have a genuine concern for your happiness and struggles in life.
No one is perfect.
You can’t expect those you trust to never fail or never make a mistake. You have to be ok with the idea that the future you dreamed up in your head probably isn’t going to happen. You shouldn’t expect the worst, but you should look forward to the best. When they do make mistakes help them out, lift them up and forgive what they have done. Keep in mind that if they fail more often then not, that they might not be someone to trust.
Trust isn’t always about a lock and key, it’s about learning and growing together as people.
You have to be willing to give others the opportunity to be someone you can trust. You have to learn to sense that they have potential to be someone you respect some day. Someone that can be a leader and take on responsibilities in life. Just remember to be patient with your trust, it won’t happen overnight.
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