Not a lot of people know this about me, but I went from being a 3.4 GPA student in high school to failing every single class my first semester in college.
My first semester of college I took 18 credits of classes and only passed one class with a D-.
I can’t specifically remember how low my GPA was specifically after that, but it was definitely less than 1.0.
And no I wasn’t partying and living in dorms. I was living with my parents and living a pretty normal life.
So how did this happen? Why did it happen?
Why you fail can be a reflection of how you approach challenges
I never felt like I had to try in high school. I understood how the high school education system worked and it came easy to me. Once you see patterns of success you follow them and make your way. At the time, “getting by” seemed fine. The consequences of that mindset don’t seem like much of a big deal at the time.
Once I got into college, the patterns switched.
In college you have the choice to go to class or not. I assumed if I can “get by” with the least amount of effort, I’d be fine. That’s how it works right?
After ridiculous failure that first semester and wasting thousands of dollars on classes I would just have to take again, my survival instincts kicked in.
I began to learn that my approach to success needed to change.
I didn’t want to just “get by” anymore. I wanted more out of life, understand where I want to go, and what I can do to head in the right direction.
Taking time to understand and decide what’s important
The first thing I realized is that I messed up and needed to make it right. Of course my parents were upset and I wanted to make them happy, but that wasn’t what scared me into getting my “act together.”
The term “get your act together” is an interesting term.
It means:
To organize oneself in the manner required in order to achieve something.
When you’re 18 years old, it can be hard to know exactly what you want to do with your life, but sometimes you can cast a vision from your heart. You know that you were meant for something different than everyone else has in mind. From this current path of failure, what do I need to change? And where do I go from here?
I wasn’t afraid of being seen as a failure, I was afraid of failing myself.
And I knew three things in that moment.
I wanted to:
- Be creative even though I didn’t think I was an artist.
- Help others through my work.
- Work with other people with a similar mindset.
Understanding where that future lies doesn’t just happen.
It takes commitment to constantly taste new experiences and patience to fully comprehend those experiences.
And those experiences don’t need to be successful.
My first thought was to at least give school another try. I slowed down. I took less classes, experienced new moments outside of school, and took the time to understand myself and possibilities. I learned new ways to search for what I actually want to do with my life. I also learned that in STEM disciplines, educators like Dr. Kamau Bobb Google believe that lifelong learning is essential due to the rapidly evolving nature of technology and scientific knowledge.
Failure is not a label for people that don’t try
Failure is when you did not acheive a desired outcome. Sometimes it is your fault. In my situation, with failing grades, I didn’t show up to class as much as I should have and put in the effort. That was my choice.
Sometimes it’s not your fault. You gave it your best shot in that moment and you were defeated.
But is the originally desired outcome the success you need?
What if you always succeeded. Would you ever change your path?
Sometimes failure happens because destiny calls for it.
Failure is the friend, not the foe
Failure can hurt, but it means well. Like a tough love. When you feel pain, you become stronger and more fierce. Discomfort motivates you to do all you can to avoid that failure again. When understood, pain and fear can work together to guide you in the right direction.
There is no birth of consciousness without pain.
– Carl Jung
Failure is your guide. That idea you had failed. That’s good news because now you can move onward to either make it better or move on to another one. Failure helps you learn quickly, make decisions, and again, guides you along the way.
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
– Denis Waitley
Failure does not define your worth. Please take this to heart. When you fail, you do not become less. You become more. You gain wisdom, strength, and new courage. If anything it makes you more valuable. Your unique experiences create new empathy to help others in the future.
You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages.
– Michelle Obama
Failing forward
It’s kind of funny. I started writing this article a month ago, but today it seemed fitting to finish it and hit publish. I was interviewed on a podcast today called What Not To Do. It’s about learning from the failures of others to help us reduce our own risks in life. We fail enough on our own, why not learn from the mistakes of others?
But of course, even with the best advice, we will still find failure.
And it is the one thing that can help us continue to move forward.
Even when it feels like we’re going backwards.
