Opinions, arguments and jerks.

We’ve all been one. Not only that, you can name at least one person in your life that is this kind of person when it comes to opinions and just about any conversations.

The jerk.

So why does it happen? Why do people get so heated up about opinions? Why does there have to be a winner in every single conversation you have? What’s making those conversations even harder is that in your fast paced technological world is that people feel more entitled to be the winner because “they think they know everything.”

I struggle with this sometimes. Right here on this blog. Right here in this post. Right here in this sentence. Sometimes I think I have the right to prove someone wrong or tell them something “in their best interest.”

Honestly, I don’t know what your “best interest” is. I may or may not know who you are. I probably have never met you in person or even online through any social connection. It’s hard to know if my opinion matters sometimes. Opinions are personal because they are judgment formed about something, but not necessarily based on facts. Events in our life, people we love and emotions play a big role in how we feel about certain conversations.

Why is it that when we all have conversations with people, for some reason one of us is compelled to feel “right” or be declared a winner? What if we all just had conversations not to prove who is right, but to prove that we are in fact listening? Most of the time you and I might end up racing through your own thoughts just trying to keep proving your point rather than taking time to understand the other person.

When you constantly try to prove your point and reveal you are actually not listening to the other person, you become an obnoxious person. I do it too. I forget to even listen to myself. That’s when I become a jerkface. My sister usually tells me this. Seriously.

How can we all stop the jerks from showing up?

We can’t stop all jerks. I hate to break it to you, but there are some serious assholes out there that just live and breathe to annoy you and prove everyone wrong. It’s pretty disgusting. I’ve met these people. I’ve worked with these people. Don’t be that person. Please. That is actually the first step in drowning the jerk population. You and I can simply start by trying to not be that person more often.

• You can start by simply listening and respecting the other person. Show that you actually understand where they are coming from. Hear what they have to say. Respond with respect and don’t make them feel like the loser.
• If they are the jerk that never quits, simply end the conversation politely. Don’t fuel their fire. Simply find the best way you can end the conversation. Maybe even change the topic of discussion if you are stuck in a room with them.
• Be aware of what you are saying. Are your words of good choice? How is the tone of your voice? Don’t be condescending. Be candid and open. Your mission should not be to prove them wrong even if you know you are right. Try to sense how they feel based on their physical response. Their body language plays a big role in how they feel.
• If the jerk is a close friend, talk to them in private about it. Don’t call out the jerk publicly. You are then also a jerk. Yup. Don’t do that. Find a time when you are both in good spirits and just bring it up when you both have some free time. Tell them how they make you feel when you have conversations with them. Let them know it’s hurting your friendship. If you care about them, you will tell them what they need to hear.

Let’s all stop being jerks together. Not every conversation needs a winner and a loser.