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Understanding when to let others fight their own battles is never easy.
We all come to a time in our life where we want to help someone that we care a lot about. They just seem to be in a rough patch or they just never seem to finish what they started. Maybe they are the kind of person that just never take full advantage of opportunities in their life. They just don’t seem to care. Or maybe they are the most genuinely kind and loving person and when it rains, it pours. Everything just goes wrong. One thing after another.
When it comes to those kinds of situations, many of us just want to be the hero. We want to help. We want to see them in a better place by aiding them in any way we can. We would do things we normally wouldn’t do for just anyone. We try to fix their problems for them every single time.
The truth is, us aiding them helps, but it only temporary. We aren’t rescuing them from the problem at all. We just are putting them in hiding and hoping the problem passes by so you can bring them back out and everything will be just fine and dandy before the shit storm happened. You can’t keep saving them every time. It’s the difference between saving and supporting that makes all the difference.
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We have to let others be their own hero. They have to learn to defeat the problem for their own sake.
It’s probably one of the hardest things we can do in life. Watching someone we care about suffer sucks, but when they fight the battles on their own terms and are able to follow through, they become better people. They have a chance to fight for themselves. Sometimes it takes more shit to happen for certain people and if that is the case for you and your friend, I hope it doesn’t last too much longer.
What I have found personally, is that if you keep trying to save the ones that always need saving, they are never given the chance to save themselves. They are leaning on you for safety. If you just learn to let them fight on their own, but still be their for support, they will break down walls. They will open new doors. They will somehow, some day redeem themselves.
You can’t drag those you love around forever, because some day you won’t be there for them and it will just be even harder for them, for you, and might end up just making things worse.
We need to stop trying to save everyone and start teaching others how to save themselves. That’s where real progress begins.
